How can you not love yourself?
You can feel pain even when it’s not yours. You can be with the one to whom it belongs. You pull them up, dust them and make them smile. You try your level best to make them feel that they are wanted and you love them above and beyond.
But when it comes to you, you hide the pain within you. You put a smile on your face and walk like a queen. Carrying the burden on your shoulders you walk without complaining and disappearing in the night you hush your worries and next morning taking your loved ones under your wings you are back in the game.
HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE YOURSELF?
Life would be so simple if you are able to convince bunch of people, win their approval and in exchange you will get your happily ever after.
Really and at what cost? Let’s calculate that first.
Imagine a world of approval with no questions, no U turns and no no’s. And speaking of cost a world which is completely incapable of change and full of people with no capacity for growth and development. No insecurity issues, no identity crisis and an easy but stagnant life.
Yes, stagnant and if I am not wrong you do realize life is like water and its nature is to flow or to fly away with the air and if stagnated it can lead to disease. So if you don’t want to be diseased with monotony and lack of growth try to understand that everything happening right at this moment is fine just the way it is supposed to be. You are where you should be and even if things have not yet turned out your way you are still winning because you are moving towards growth.
I know it sounds so annoying especially when one is feeling stuck but this is how it works.
And if at this moment of crisis they discourage you, or they are telling you, you are stupid, dump and your decision are unrealistic or impractical let them say because getting fresh vegetables every day or losing a pair of socks is realistic and very much practical. And of course building a YouTube channel, growing your business, becoming a painter or Instagram model or a writer at seventeen or sixty is impractical because that’s what dreams are meant to be far away from mundane reality.
If you are labelled crazy guess what creators or artist second name is?
What hurts most is not what they say but what you say, think and practice about yourself.
They don’t accept you that’s fine.
Why don’t you accept yourself?
They don’t respect you or your decisions.
Why don’t you respect yourself and your decisions?
They make fun of your body, outfits or work.
But do you like yourself and do you think your ideas are good enough.
They call you insane you try to convince them.
Why? What for?
Don’t you trust your sanity?
Why does it matter what they say?
Think and think clearly why it matters or should it matter at all?
Before you let them get into your head and disconnect you from your own roots ask yourself following questions. These questions will give you minimum 15 reasons of giving a damn about what they think. Just go through them once believe it your reasons that are buried inside you will come out screaming I am done caring and you will automatically move on.
Ask yourself and ask it now.
- Who are they in your life?
- What’s your value in their life?
- Have they ever given you a chance to speak your mind?
- Do they respect you?
- If you suffer lonely or fail will they be affected?
- Were they with you when you or someone in your family was going through a rough time?
- Have they ever believed in you or encouraged you or when you failed did they ever tried to get you back on your feet?
- Are they paying your bills?
- Do they bring food to your table?
- Are they working with you on your project?
- Have they ever tried to do something out side the box in their life?
- Do they accept things without digging into the truth?
- Have they taken anyone or even themselves seriously?
- When they say be practical or realistic, do they they really mean it or they use these terms as an excuse to hide their own fears and insecurities to play safe because they themselves are seeking approval?
And the most important one.
- If you die will they come to your grave devastated as now they have nothing to talk about?
No, they will find a new target and life will move on.
THINK! THINK! THINK! WHY SHOULD YOU CARE WHAT THEY THINK, SAY OR DO?
I will elaborate a little more.
The harsher reality is that they judge you because you allow them.
You are the one who is nice and mature when its least required. You the understanding one who never learnt to say no, never used authority. You took bullets right on your face and wondered what have you done to deserve this?
You just don’t seem to get it. The world is not on your shoulders and you don’t owe anything to anyone. Yes, you are answerable and fully responsible for your loved ones and only to them no one else. You have to be a better person for those who are there for you for better AND for worse not for better OR worse? And maybe sometimes you have to go miles to win their heart but you don’t have to be a slave for that one heart.
You don’t have to take heat from mean uncles and aunts, creepy cousins or self-centered friends. If someone is taking away your peace of mind and is making your life miserable it’s time to move on.
Block them right away. I know this one is extremely difficult. But come on peace comes with a price. No, it’s not rude it’s called self-defense. You can’t allow toxic minds to destroy your life and your vision. You are as human as they are and you have equal right to protect your life and mind, you deserve to be happy just the way they deserve it.
Your mind, energy, effort, time, patience, understanding, love, and talent is your currency and if people want you to invest your currency in them, if they want your attention let them earn it. Respect is earned not governed so don’t shower it on people let them earn it.
Honestly, blocking is beautiful you don’t have to be mean, don’t have to shout just stop answering their calls. We are humans and we have a great talent for making excuses but our timing is wrong. Excuses are an excellent technique to deal with toxic minds but unfortunately, we use them to kill time. Tell them I have work, visiting parents this weekend, I am in a rush, whatever. Stop hanging out with people who drain your energy only spend time with people who helps you to grow and if no one is like that in your life use internet to connect with creative minds instead of browsing it mindlessly only to make yourself more miserable.
Respect your energy, time and creativity and it will respect you back.
Learn to say no.
Answer those questions and make a decision to never care about what would they say they will say anyway.
Pull back your focus and energy and turn it towards yourself.
Think and work on what you like not what you don’t like.
It’s OK to feel weak, to fear and cry out loud. It’s OK to fail couple of times and fall back and procrastinate. It’s just fine to take a nap when your wings are exhausted.
It’s ok to ignore those calls of your brain driving you insane. It’s fine to watch YouTube to ease the burden of what next.
No you are not guilty of killing time or wasting the treasure of opportunities. You know why?
Because you worked and you worked hard. Yes, you failed but you tried.
Dear you, don’t be disheartened and think about how you started this with one step with nothing in your hands, you took first step when you were not aware about where is this going to take you and now turn back and count how many steps far have you come.
You started this journey all by yourself with little knowledge and now you know how, what and when of your project, company, art or whatever the thing you are trying to build . Maybe timing is not in your favor or maybe strategy is not working well but there was a time when you didn’t even know how to make a strategy and now you know how to fix your strategies. Before fever of failure takes over you count your steps and see how far you have reached maybe there are more mountains to scale but you already scaled few.
It’s fine to feel weak and take a nap but after that you are the same person you chose to trust and if you can trust yourself at that time you can bet on yourself again. The game is still on and so are you. If you are done taking a nap get back to the game, field is waiting for you.
Tired of carrying the burden of mindset’s I wandered lonely in the city of reality or what they labelled as reality. Confused and lost I kept walking
thinking one day it will make sense.
But all I could sense was everything they said, everything they meant, everything they trained is broken.
Broken into pieces.
They picked some pieces and misplaced some of them.
Then they placed it in front of me as a reality.
A reality with so many missing pieces. A reality detached from the truth and reduced to the mindset’s of few.
Such reality was enough to break the silence of my mind.
So with the broken silence in one hand and broken reality in the other I wandered desperately searching for sense in the world of mindset’s that makes no sense.
How many times have you cried for a whole night thinking and hoping things will get better the next morning?
How many times did you feel it’s over and you came so far for nothing and It’s time for you to quit?
How many times you tried and tried again but failed and you thought of running away?
How many times you were betrayed, left alone and heartbroken in the midst of nowhere and you desperately wished to die to disappear?
But you didn’t.
You didn’t die, you didn’t quit. Instead, you dragged yourself out of the bed every day and tried everything possible to make it work.
Life knocked you down at every step, but you crawled back. Every failed project, every failed relationship, and all those naysayers tried their level best to crush your soul, but your soul didn’t even let your own weaknesses come in your way and every single time somehow you managed to finish what you started. In the end, even you were amazed by your own strengths and consistency. You noticed your hair turning grey, your back was yelling no more but you didn’t stop and today when you are in your 30s or 40s or more you hide your age why what for? Your age is an evidence that you are alive and that you managed to survive all those storms that were meant to defeat you, or maybe kill you.
Your wrinkles are not your scars they are your medals. You have won so many battles, you were backstabbed, and you were judged right from your outfits to your beliefs. You were looked down upon, taken for granted, your loved ones were targeted but you didn’t give up. You were like a rock with few cracks who did everything to protect her people, and things she stood for.
So don’t hide, don’t think aging is some kind of disadvantage or loss because it’s not, it is a record of your victories so celebrate it, be proud of it and let people know your history let them be inspired. Leave a legacy.