When they go low we go high but why?

When they go low we go high but why?

When they go low you go high, but why?

Why should I take the high road? Why should I take the heat? These days there is a new mantra around that appears appealing to me they say: if you have to be the bigger person every time then you must be living among small people and I can relate to it. It’s time to take back control because I deserve to be respected.

This is what I was chanting as I was walking to confront the person who has been disrespecting me and taking my patience for granted for a while now. It has been more than three months since I have given the dress to be stitched. Yes, I am talking about a tailor in front of whom I feel helpless to react because of the belief system planted in my brain at a very young age.

I was supposed to wear the dress at my cousin’s wedding but every time I ask him about the dress, he made excuses I have too many orders, I am not well or I was not in the town. It appeared either he has lost the fabric or ruined it. I did not argue or showed any sign of resentment not because I didn’t want to but because he was of my father’s age so I just couldn’t. He might have sensed it therefore he used the respect card against me as much as he could.

But this time I had enough so finally, I replied: “I don’t want to get it stitched anymore just return me the fabric”. As he saw my temperature rising, he again started playing the same game but this time added a little emotional blackmail with it. My mother who was standing next to me told me to calm down and push the delivery date further and again I returned home empty hand.

He gave me a new date only to continue the game a couple more times. I felt humiliated and incapable to defend myself and I was not very proud of it. That evening I was so frustrated that I prayed and asked God am I a coward? It was not about the dress anymore but something much deeper than that.

This is not the first time when I am feeling mentally paralysed. I have been pushed away all my life. Disrespected, forced to smile when I am miserable inside, shut down in the name of respect, love and age and I never retaliated. I often ask myself if there is something wrong with me?

Why can’t I react? Why my conscious, my inner being stop me? The roots of the theory of going high when they go low are so strong that controlling anger is a target. Being a woman of faith, I could see the lesson of patience and surrender scripted in different ways right from scriptures to the internet, mundane life, family and spirituality.

There were opportunities to yell, and of course, I had the best replies but no I am not allowed to play sarcasm on the road of faith. I am supposed to surrender my worries, fears and also my anger to God. I have to give my battles to Him and take the high road and I have no idea to which highway is He taking me.

So, here I am arguing with my inner being why shouldn’t I reply? I have given him so many chances and this is the time to give him the taste of his own medicine. But my inner being plays the same record. To which I reply ok maybe I should not fight or argue with a middle-aged man but he should be taught a lesson for his unprofessional and rude behaviour. And the inner being goes one step further by saying that God is giving me a chance to cleanse my soul so I should stick to the high road and if God wants to teach the tailor a lesson then he will do it on His own. I try to convince her one more time what if He is using me as an instrument to teach him a lesson. Now the inner being gives me the final verdict: “you don’t know that. You just surrender and what belongs to you will come to you”.

By this time, I was exhausted from trying to take control and fix the situation. I still wanted my dress back, still needed to know that am I a coward but I didn’t want to punish myself for trusting the tailor or for respecting or loving anybody else in my life. 

This exhaustion allowed me to detach myself from the consequences and an urge to be respected and to be taken seriously. Now my mind is not stuck in the dress. I know he will eventually give it back and his behaviour is his karma why should I pollute my mind with anger? Just when I let go of control, I received a call it was the tailor. Yes, the dress is ready.

The next day I am sitting in the lobby waiting for him to hand it over to me. I was done but he was not he made me wait with the same attitude for another fifteen minutes but I didn’t let this bother me because I knew this is the last time, I am dealing with him. Just then he received a call his face dropped and his staff panicked. Turns out few of his clients have made a complaint against him and he may have to suffer some legal repercussions. He was scared and embarrassed I paid the bill, collected the dress and left. 

On the way back home, I recollected the entire episode. What was that? So, was this his lesson? Should I have been part of this? What if God wanted me to join other clients to complain against him? Or maybe I was part of this? May be every single day of the past three months, maybe every client he misbehaved with or if he would have behaved well at least today was his chance to improve himself and maybe being patient with him was my role.

God works in mysterious ways and who knows he uses you in his plan as a whistleblower or as a situation leading to its final destination. But I do know one thing it could have happened in my absence but God made sure that I know I have his back. The silence was not my cowardness it was the surrender of my anger, ego and expectations to God, it was the lesson that I needed to learn through this experience.

I am glad I didn’t react to the rude behaviour of the man of my father’s age as I don’t have to be the bigger person every time but I certainly don’t want to be the smaller one. I am glad I walked away in dignified silence instead of claiming I deserve respect because what they hear is, I am begging for respect. There will be moments when I have to respond and I will choose to respond not to react.

I didn’t know why to go high when they go low? Now I know.

When they go low you go high, but why?

Why should I take the high road? Why should I take the heat? These days there is a new mantra around that is gaining momentum according to which if you have to be the bigger person every time then you must be living among small people and I can relate to it. It’s time to take back control because I deserve to be respected.

This is what I was chanting as I was walking to confront the person who has been disrespecting me and taking my patience for granted for a while now. It has been more than three months since I have given the dress to be stitched. Yes, I am talking about a tailor in front of whom I feel helpless to react because of the belief system planted in my brain at a very young age.

I was supposed to wear the dress at my cousin’s wedding but every time I ask him about it, he made excuses I have too many orders, I am not well or I was not in the town. It appeared either he has lost the fabric or ruined it. I did not argue or showed any sign of resentment not because I didn’t want to but because he was of my father’s age so I just couldn’t. He might have sensed it therefore he used the respect card against me as much as he could.

But this time I had enough so finally, I replied: “I don’t want to get it stitched anymore just return me the fabric”. As he saw my temperature rising, he again started playing the same game but this time added a little emotional blackmail with it. My mother who was standing next to me told me to calm down and push the delivery date further and again I returned home empty hand.

He gave me a new date only to continue the game a couple more times. I felt humiliated and incapable to defend myself and I was not very proud of it. That evening I was so frustrated that I prayed and asked God am I a coward? It was not about the dress anymore but something much deeper than that.

This is not the first time when I am feeling mentally paralysed. I have been pushed away all my life. Disrespected, forced to smile when I am miserable inside, shut down in the name of respect, love and age and I never retaliated. I often ask myself if there is something wrong with me?

Why can’t I react? Why my conscious, my inner being stops me? The roots of the theory of going high when they go low are so strong that controlling anger is a target. Being a woman of faith, I could see the lesson of patience and surrender scripted in different ways right from scriptures to the internet, mundane life, family and spirituality.

There were opportunities to yell, and of course, I had the best replies but no I am not allowed to play sarcasm on the road of faith. I am supposed to surrender my worries, fears and also my anger to God. I have to give my battles to Him and take the high road and I have no idea to which highway is He taking me.

So, here I am arguing with my inner being why shouldn’t I reply? I have given him so many chances and this is the time to give him the taste of his own medicine. But my inner being plays the same record. To which I reply ok maybe I should not fight or argue with a middle-aged man but he should be taught a lesson for his unprofessional and rude behaviour. And the inner being goes one step further by saying that God is giving me a chance to cleanse my soul so I should stick to the high road and if God wants to teach the tailor a lesson then he will do it on His own. I try to convince her one more time what if He is using me as an instrument to teach him a lesson. Now the inner being gives me the final verdict: “you don’t know that. You just surrender and what belongs to you will come to you”.

By this time, I was exhausted from trying to take control and fix the situation. I still wanted my dress back, still needed to know that am I a coward? But now I didn’t want to punish myself for trusting the tailor or for respecting or loving anybody else in my life. 

This exhaustion allowed me to detach myself from the consequences and an urge to be respected and to be taken seriously. Now my mind is not stuck in the dress. I know he will eventually give it back and his behavior is his karma why should I pollute my mind with anger? Just when I let go of control, I received a call from the tailor. Yes, the dress is finally ready.

The next day I am sitting in the lobby waiting for him to hand it over to me. I was done but he was not he made me wait with the same attitude for another fifteen minutes but I didn’t let this bother me because I knew this is the last time, I am dealing with him. Just then he received a call his face dropped and his staff panicked. Turns out few of his clients have made a complaint against him and he may have to suffer some legal repercussions. He was scared and embarrassed I paid the bill, collected the dress and left. 

On the way back home, I recollected the entire episode. What was that? So, was this his lesson? Should I have been part of this? What if God wanted me to join other clients to complain against him? Or maybe I was part of this? Maybe every single day of the past three months, maybe every client he misbehaved with, or if he would have behaved well at least today, maybe being patient with him was my role.

God works in mysterious ways and who knows he uses you in his plan as a whistleblower or as a situation leading to its final destination. But I do know one thing it could have happened in my absence but God made sure that I know I have his back. The silence was not my cowardness it was the surrender of my anger, ego and expectations to God, it was the lesson that I needed to learn through this experience.

I am glad I didn’t react to the rude behaviour of the man of my father’s age as I don’t have to be the bigger person every time but I certainly don’t want to be the smaller one. I am glad I walked away in dignified silence instead of claiming I deserve respect because what they hear is, I am begging for respect. There will be moments when I have to respond and I will choose to respond not to react.

I didn’t know why to go high when they go low? Now I know.

A psalm of life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

A psalm of life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

What the heart of the young man said to the psalmist.

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
   Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
   And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
   And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
   Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
   Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
   Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
   And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
   Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
   In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
   Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!
   Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,— act in the living Present!
   Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
   We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
   Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
   Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
   Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
   With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
   Learn to labor and to wait.

Why did they disrespect you?

Why did they disrespect you?

Why did they disrespect you?

Because you never asked them for respect.

Every time they called you, you were available.

Every time they messed it you rushed to fix it.

Every time they wanted you.

You left everything in middle only to hear oh you wanted to come.

They told you to wait for 20 minutes you waited for hours and hours turned into days and days into years and you are still waiting for them to respect you.

Why did they disrespect you?

Because you never told them to respect you.

They expected you to change your outfit you did.

They told you to change the ways you did.

They told you to change your mind and you changed yourself for them.

And now you ask why didn’t they respect me?

They wanted you to stay.

You stayed.

They wanted you to listen.

You said tell me about it.

They wanted you to leave and in silence you did.

Why didn’t they respect you?————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

BECAUSE you didn’t tell them

I am busy.

I don’t have time.

Do it yourself.

No, I won’t.

I am tired.

I have a life too.

I am done.

No means no.

 

Why won’t you say it?

What scares you?

Are you scared they are going to leave you and you will be left alone?

Are they with you right now?

Aren’t you already alone?

Aren’t relationships supposed to be a two-way process?

Haven’t you been enough disrespected?

Isn’t 2020 enough?

Shouldn’t 2021 be a new beginning?

 

 

 

 

Hope is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson.

Hope is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson.

14

Dec, 2020

Opening the blinds.

Hope is the thing with feathers.

Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers.
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Her Self

Poetry Book

Available at Amazon

Awaits

Romantic Drama Available at Amazon

When they go low we go high but why?

When they go low you go high, but why? Why should I take the high road? Why should I take the heat? These days there is a new mantra around that appears appealing to me they say: if you have to be the bigger person every time then you must be living among small people...

A psalm of life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

What the heart of the young man said to the psalmist. Tell me not, in mournful numbers,   Life is but an empty dream!For the soul is dead that slumbers,   And things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is...

Why did they disrespect you?

Why did they disrespect you? Because you never asked them for respect. Every time they called you, you were available. Every time they messed it you rushed to fix it. Every time they wanted you. You left everything in middle only to hear oh you wanted to come. They...

Hope is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson.

14Dec, 2020Opening the blinds.Hope is the thing with feathers. Emily Dickinson Hope is the thing with feathers. That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That...

Solitude By Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

7 Dec, 2020 Opening the blinds. Solitude BY Ella Wheeler Wilcox Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone; For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth, But has trouble enough of its own. Sing, and the hills will answer; Sigh, it is lost on the...

My Symphony by William Henry Channing. Daily poem

30Nov, 2020Opening the blinds. — William Henry Channing To live content with small means. To seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion. To be worthy not respectable, and wealthy not rich. To study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act...

If by Rudyard Kipling. If you can keep your head when all about are losing theirs.

23Nov, 2020Opening the blinds.If— BY RUDYARD KIPLING If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by...

Don’t let the world control your happiness.

16Nov, 2020Opening the blinds.Stress, anxiety, insecurities, depression, argument, worry, sleep problems, esteem issues, skin conditions, overthinking, anger, and fear has become life. But is it? Didn’t you study hard for a better life? Didn’t try to be your best self...

Finish What you started. The motivation for you are not behind.

9Nov, 2020Opening the blinds.  Why is it taking so long? It has been years now. I have been working on this for forever? What am I doing wrong? Will, it ever happen or I will be stuck here for the rest of my life? Do I need to fail every time? How much longer do...

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2Nov, 2020Opening the blinds.You try to let it go but you can’t so you hang on to it only to bleed. You just want to give back one reply so that your anger receives some kind of satisfaction but one reply leads to ten more accusations on you and now there is more on...

Solitude By Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

Solitude By Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

7

Dec, 2020

Opening the blinds.

Solitude

BY Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all,—
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.
Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

Her Self

Poetry Book

Available at Amazon

Awaits

Romantic Drama Available at Amazon

When they go low we go high but why?

When they go low you go high, but why? Why should I take the high road? Why should I take the heat? These days there is a new mantra around that appears appealing to me they say: if you have to be the bigger person every time then you must be living among small people...

A psalm of life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

What the heart of the young man said to the psalmist. Tell me not, in mournful numbers,   Life is but an empty dream!For the soul is dead that slumbers,   And things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is...

Why did they disrespect you?

Why did they disrespect you? Because you never asked them for respect. Every time they called you, you were available. Every time they messed it you rushed to fix it. Every time they wanted you. You left everything in middle only to hear oh you wanted to come. They...

Hope is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson.

14Dec, 2020Opening the blinds.Hope is the thing with feathers. Emily Dickinson Hope is the thing with feathers. That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That...

Solitude By Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

7 Dec, 2020 Opening the blinds. Solitude BY Ella Wheeler Wilcox Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone; For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth, But has trouble enough of its own. Sing, and the hills will answer; Sigh, it is lost on the...

My Symphony by William Henry Channing. Daily poem

30Nov, 2020Opening the blinds. — William Henry Channing To live content with small means. To seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion. To be worthy not respectable, and wealthy not rich. To study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act...

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Don’t let the world control your happiness.

16Nov, 2020Opening the blinds.Stress, anxiety, insecurities, depression, argument, worry, sleep problems, esteem issues, skin conditions, overthinking, anger, and fear has become life. But is it? Didn’t you study hard for a better life? Didn’t try to be your best self...

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9Nov, 2020Opening the blinds.  Why is it taking so long? It has been years now. I have been working on this for forever? What am I doing wrong? Will, it ever happen or I will be stuck here for the rest of my life? Do I need to fail every time? How much longer do...

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2Nov, 2020Opening the blinds.You try to let it go but you can’t so you hang on to it only to bleed. You just want to give back one reply so that your anger receives some kind of satisfaction but one reply leads to ten more accusations on you and now there is more on...