August, 2020

Opening the blinds.

Oh Gosh, she is so photogenic, she has a perfect body and perfect skin. I will never have that kind of confidence; I cannot pull it off. I am dull, unworthy, ugly. I just don’t have it.

Seriously why?

Because somebody framed a concept of perfect size, flawless skin or fashion trends and you believed them?

You realise we humans are not on this planet for forever. We have a timeline. Beautiful hair, flawless skin and exotic body standards are useless because one day we all will turn to ashes. What’s the point of looking down upon oneself and not even trying that cute outfit, crazy haircut and allowing yourself to enjoy, celebrate your body with positivity to be happy.


How does it matter to you what are these beauty standard? Why should it matter to you? Life is larger than any beauty goals or fashion trends. Don’t you think?


Why are you denying yourself the experiences, joys and memories of the period of life you are living. It’s going to pass anyway?


What’s important?


What do they think about your outfit or body?


Or what you enjoyed and what you are going to enjoy sharing these memories with your daughter while she is growing up?

The truth is it’s not about what they teach but what you choose to learn”.

You know humans are made in the image of God and you think He will create something incapable, incomplete and will label someone ugly or pretty?

Obviously no.

So why are you hiding behind your thoughts?

Come out of the dark.

Here is the deal like yourself or improve what you don’t like not because somebody is suggesting but because you want it. You don’t like your haircut change it. You want to lose or gain weight workout. How many blogs and YouTube channels are dedicated to this topic research them and follow according to the need.

Know your value, set your standards don’t copy someone else just to be accepted or appreciated or because you think they are experts but create your own. Know your body and your likes and dislikes and then act accordingly. You have one life and if something means so much to you then leave no stone unturned.


Most importantly, if someone calls you ugly, makes fun of you, and they make you feel bad about yourself. If all they could see is your looks which according to them is not good enough you shouldn’t be friends with them. And believe me, it’s their loss. They just lost a wonderful friend and a great support system and a time will come when they will check your Instagram and will wonder how you became so confident?


Two extremely important things that will help you during this process are:

1. Stop asking for opinions:


How do I look?


Do you think I gained weight?


Do you think it will suit me?


Sometimes it’s fine to ask just don’t make it a habit. Unfortunately, we all are guilty of asking opinions from our partners, friends, sisters or mothers. Initially, we are only asking our loved ones but slowly it becomes a habit and with time people keep adding to the list which will eventually lead to insecurities, and later it consumes an individual to an extend where she won’t buy a dress because she likes it but because they will like it.


Choose what you like and ask yourself will it make me happy. Will I walk with comfort and confidence in this dress or will I battle with my mind the entire day thinking this is not the right colour or fit for me. I should not have bought this.


You don’t even need to ask your best friend because you live in this body you have a brain and you know what works best for you, have faith in your calculations and yes your friends and family don’t have a better brain than you. You have your unique efficient perception which is enough for you to count on yourself which brings me to my next point.

  1. Never compare yourself:


Drop the comparison. You have nothing to do with your neighbours, colleagues or your siblings. Never compare your body or style statement with your loved ones this might affect your relationship. Everyone has a different perception, taste, and style what you like they may not like it. Make peace with it. I know loved ones might get under your skin because they think they know what suits you but you are you and no one knows you better than you. You have to be confident about your choices and you have to do the same for them. If you want to save yourself from judgements you have to stop judging them too. You have to learn to appreciate their choices too which they made for themselves.


And of course, never compare your body, outfits or lifestyle with people online because this will create discontentment and things will never be enough. You don’t know what exactly is going on in their life and how they made it till here. You have to focus on your journey of growth and happiness.


So if you want to enjoy your body and celebrate it with the confidence you have to detach yourself with everyone’s opinion. Just stop comparing yourself and put on that dress, enjoy yourself after all it’s just a dress. No one is perfect everyone has their own issues and who knows maybe they are imagining you are perfect and they want to be like you so stop being so hard on yourself. Take it easy and have some fun.

Her Self

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