8

June, 2020

Opening the blinds.

We all struggle to change our lives and to become more organized but the biggest obstacle in our way are habits. This is so because no matter how hard one tries and how many times one gets away with it, it keeps coming back.

Precisely you can not get away with it. I know I couldn’t, I have a habit of overthinking. Every time I had to do something I use to start sinking into what if? But things were not always like this I develop this habit after finishing M.Phil in English Literature when I was looking for a job and later the job started interfering with my writing and I had to make big decisions.

You see writing is still seen as a hobby not as a living and self-employment doesn’t pay you immediately hence, you consider and reconsider things way too much.

It’s a trap because you get lost in your thoughts and it only kills time. Sometimes you want to take a U-turn and go by what is dictated but your soul will do what she wants to do and ultimately the decision is made.

Well, the point is you cannot escape it. The reason is you are trying to suppress it by fighting against it. You are holding yourself guilty for not being organized for being addicted to this habit and for not doing more.

Second, you expect the habit that you practiced for years to change in a day or a week. So you turn into a strict teacher to get the results but it usually backfires.

This suppression results in temporary escape but then after a while habit returns with a greater force leading to bigger damages.

So don’t ever try to force yourself to change but figure out a way to bring your mind from resistance to accept the change and allow you to be the change. This will surely help.

Opening The Blinds.

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It helped me when instead of forcing my brain I tried to bring it across to the point where I wanted it to be.

I am listing a few ways that I tried. You can try it too.

  • Become Conscious:

Habits are frequently practiced behavior. Any habit that you are aiming to change is like brushing your teeth. You don’t have to think about the process but your hand automatically knows where to go and what to do. And while you are brushing your mind is riding its thoughts and you are not even aware of what’s happening inside your mouth.

Similarly, every habit right from getting up late in the morning to procrastination is a behavior that you have practiced for a period long enough to allow things automatically take place.

So, be conscious of when it is happening. Identify the situations triggering the habit. It could be a person, particular conversation, electronic devices or certain postures.

Don’t avoid them because the mind has a habit of going back to things that one is trying to avoid.

But replace them with something that grabs your mind. If you can divert your mind every time the habit kicks in you will gain the upper hand over it. And yes you cannot replace certain people in your life so talk about your situation with them to find a solution.

  • You have a choice:

 No matter how powerful and how old is your habit and how helpless you feel never forget you have a choice to step back. You have an opportunity to say no. Habits cannot hold you for long but you can hang on to them without saying no for the rest of your life.

Find the reason to say no and the roots of this reason should be strong enough to stop you. You should be desperate to change your life for the better. This reason you have to find on your own, rest assured.

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  • Create the environment:

Your environment should support your effort. If you are trying to get rid of your addiction to gossip stay away from gossipy friends. Surround yourself with people who respond not reacts.

If you want to have an organized schedule, career and life. Then start organizing your home first because we attract what we are. If you have an unorganised home you cannot organize your office because you are carrying mess in your mind.

If you want to learn to meditate and be peaceful read books, hang out with people who know meditation. Watch shows that calms your mind. Don’t practice things that are not in align with your aim. Take control of your life.

  • Take baby steps:

Start small, don’t jump to the end goal. I have talked about the repercussions of being impatient with habits in the beginning. So please be patient it may take weeks to months to change old habits and establish new ones.

You have to be consistent.

Make a pact of two days of eliminating the habit and after succeeding reward yourself with something you love. Then exceed the timeline to four days. If you fail then forgive yourself and take another chance but if the behaviour continues second time punish yourself with something like denying yourself T.V or phone or internet whatever is best in the situation but the punishment should be strong enough so that next time you don’t take advantage.

If you can continue it for a certain time like a month you will win over this habit.

  • Don’t judge yourself:

 You are going to fail several times and you will feel guilty but don’t judge yourself. You have been practicing the habit for a while and now you are swimming against the waves, of course, it’s going to be painful.

But don’t be disheartened. Your consistency will take you to the other side of the sea. You have to have accountability but don’t let it become your guilt.

Take effective steps to improve the situation and don’t get carried away with few rewards because if you stop practicing the habit will come back only to make matters worse.  

 Life can be organized and habits can be changed for better by learning that we always have a choice and by becoming conscious and creating an environment that allows habits to change.

If we are true and consistent without judgments in one direction the mountain can certainly be moved.

Author

Nisha Thakur 

"Life is a bumpy ride with few casualties that leads me to write". Hi, I am Nisha I am a poet, playwright and a blogger. Mindfulness and spiritual awareness and growth are my favourite subjects. Would you like to join the journey from madness to mindfulness with me?

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