Opening the blinds.
The 30s turned out to be the golden period of my life. Believe me, I have never felt so alive and so empowered before. It turned everything upside down and made my life purposeful.
No, I am not 30 but 34 and when I entered 30’s things were already on fire in my life. I was struggling both personally and professionally and the cherry on the cake I was single which I still am.
It was a perfect recipe for being roasted by everyone around and trust me they did their level best but by now I had already figured out the truth and strength to survive. Moreover, I sensed a shift from surviving to thriving.
Well, 30 is not a magic number but the experience is magical. With time you grow up and you grow apart. And when I say growing apart it doesn’t mean disconnecting with people but detaching yourself from their opinions and their fears and experiences to construct your experiences based on your understanding of life allowing yourself to grow.
Opening The Blinds.
“Do not disconnect with the world only detach.”
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What happens in the ’30s?
- Urge to be accepted or pressure of confirmation disappears:
Remember the pressure of to be or not to be in the ’20s where we always had at least one satellite if not more on our heads tracking our every move right from dresses to career choices. And how that pressure took over our lives as we turned 25 especially if it was about being single.
It only got worse with time. Criticism turned in to bullying, and identity crisis into quitting but somehow, we managed to drag it.
While I was dragging life, a teacher that first examines and then teaches a lesson kept throwing more and more failures and pain in my way.
Things went out of the hands when my father had a heart attack in 2015. Sitting outside the CCU (Coronary Care Unit) with my mom I thought God what next?
For a while I was a lost and then my inner voice said it’s going to be fine and I replied God message received.
Since that day I never looked back, never cared who said what and I did what I was dying to live for choosing writing as a career telling my mom it’s now or never. She too pulled herself together and started living life to the fullest with father.
Papa’s heart attack taught me with God on my side I don’t have to fear anything. Plus, life is unpredictable and it can act wild but you manage to figure out things no matter how painful, difficult and impossible they are.
Second, courage automatically comes when its a calling moment and when its normal to be fearful you turn out to be fearless.
These are those moments when you realize how silly is it to change your decision because few people disagree with you. And when you witness yourself making an official comeback after experiencing and enduring life in its wild form it makes perfect sense why you should never listen to what would they say and the pressure immediately starts disappearing. Now acceptance and rejection are not even a question but the only target is to finish what you started.
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- You are on your own:
The Thirties is the time when all the barriers are gone that were created by society and patriarchy to control you.
Well, now you have already developed your sense of reasoning and now you don’t accept things on the superficial level. Thanks to the personal and professional pain and failures you have been through.
Now you know to question, you know to analyse and most importantly you know to say no.
Yes, 30 teaches you to say no which gives you the power to demand respect and opportunity. Which also takes away the power from people who take you for granted.
You have learnt to survive as you know you don’t have any option other than counting on yourself alone and fewer options mean less confusion and stronger decisions leading to accomplishments.
You are now like a one-woman army who burned the bridges to finish what she started.
This is the reason I mentioned at the beginning that I never felt so alive and empowered before.
- Celebrating yourself:
Confusion, trails and errors done in the 20’s signals what is to be done. At this point, you know what you want. You are aware of what you want your life to look like. You have already started your journey but now the vision is clearer and you know your flaws and how and what to do with them.
You have learnt to reflect. You can see how far you have come despite all the obstacles and you have a strong desire to celebrate it.
The best part about the ’30s is that you not only celebrate your success but also the failures as you have grown up as a person who focuses on learning rather than mere gaining.
In addition to this, you celebrate your life, family, beliefs, body and much more. This is the time when you start turning inwards and becoming self-aware.
During the thirties, you are done carrying the burden of your past and tired of wishful thinking that one day everything is going to be okay. Instead, you want to change things now and you turn towards the present.
This is the golden period because now is the moment where you start connecting the dots that past is no more with you and you don’t wish to open the wounds and you are ready for a new beginning. You have been through the worse and its time for good things to happen.
So finally, you try to hold hands with present leaving tomorrow’s worries for tomorrow will figure out itself.
You start living life without rushing, without judging yourself, without jumping to the conclusions.
Disconnecting yourself with the obligations of to be or not be you move forward experiencing and enjoying life.
Now believing in the process you take one step at a time that eventually leads to the vision you are seeking.
That’s why the ’30s is a period of rejecting the pressure of acceptance and counting on yourself alone and celebrating yourself with mindfulness leading towards your vision.
"Life is a bumpy ride with few casualties that leads me to write". Hi, I am Nisha I am a poet, playwright and a blogger. Mindfulness and spiritual awareness and growth are my favourite subjects. Would you like to join the journey from madness to mindfulness with me?
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