Life would be so simple if you are able to convince bunch of people, win their approval and in exchange you will get your happily ever after.
Really and at what cost? Let’s calculate that first.
Imagine a world of approval with no questions, no U turns and no no’s. And speaking of cost a world which is completely incapable of change and full of people with no capacity for growth and development. No insecurity issues, no identity crisis and an easy but stagnant life.
Yes, stagnant and if I am not wrong you do realize life is like water and its nature is to flow or to fly away with the air and if stagnated it can lead to disease. So if you don’t want to be diseased with monotony and lack of growth try to understand that everything happening right at this moment is fine just the way it is supposed to be. You are where you should be and even if things have not yet turned out your way you are still winning because you are moving towards growth.
I know it sounds so annoying especially when one is feeling stuck but this is how it works.
And if at this moment of crisis they discourage you, or they are telling you, you are stupid, dump and your decision are unrealistic or impractical let them say because getting fresh vegetables every day or losing a pair of socks is realistic and very much practical. And of course building a YouTube channel, growing your business, becoming a painter or Instagram model or a writer at seventeen or sixty is impractical because that’s what dreams are meant to be far away from mundane reality.
If you are labelled crazy guess what creators or artist second name is?
What hurts most is not what they say but what you say, think and practice about yourself.
They don’t accept you that’s fine.
Why don’t you accept yourself?
They don’t respect you or your decisions.
Why don’t you respect yourself and your decisions?
They make fun of your body, outfits or work.
But do you like yourself and do you think your ideas are good enough.
They call you insane you try to convince them.
Why? What for?
Don’t you trust your sanity?
Why does it matter what they say?
Think and think clearly why it matters or should it matter at all?
Before you let them get into your head and disconnect you from your own roots ask yourself following questions. These questions will give you minimum 15 reasons of giving a damn about what they think. Just go through them once believe it your reasons that are buried inside you will come out screaming I am done caring and you will automatically move on.
Ask yourself and ask it now.
- Who are they in your life?
- What’s your value in their life?
- Have they ever given you a chance to speak your mind?
- Do they respect you?
- If you suffer lonely or fail will they be affected?
- Were they with you when you or someone in your family was going through a rough time?
- Have they ever believed in you or encouraged you or when you failed did they ever tried to get you back on your feet?
- Are they paying your bills?
- Do they bring food to your table?
- Are they working with you on your project?
- Have they ever tried to do something out side the box in their life?
- Do they accept things without digging into the truth?
- Have they taken anyone or even themselves seriously?
- When they say be practical or realistic, do they they really mean it or they use these terms as an excuse to hide their own fears and insecurities to play safe because they themselves are seeking approval?
And the most important one.
- If you die will they come to your grave devastated as now they have nothing to talk about?
No, they will find a new target and life will move on.
THINK! THINK! THINK! WHY SHOULD YOU CARE WHAT THEY THINK, SAY OR DO?
I will elaborate a little more.
The harsher reality is that they judge you because you allow them.
You are the one who is nice and mature when its least required. You the understanding one who never learnt to say no, never used authority. You took bullets right on your face and wondered what have you done to deserve this?
You just don’t seem to get it. The world is not on your shoulders and you don’t owe anything to anyone. Yes, you are answerable and fully responsible for your loved ones and only to them no one else. You have to be a better person for those who are there for you for better AND for worse not for better OR worse? And maybe sometimes you have to go miles to win their heart but you don’t have to be a slave for that one heart.
You don’t have to take heat from mean uncles and aunts, creepy cousins or self-centered friends. If someone is taking away your peace of mind and is making your life miserable it’s time to move on.
Block them right away. I know this one is extremely difficult. But come on peace comes with a price. No, it’s not rude it’s called self-defense. You can’t allow toxic minds to destroy your life and your vision. You are as human as they are and you have equal right to protect your life and mind, you deserve to be happy just the way they deserve it.
Your mind, energy, effort, time, patience, understanding, love, and talent is your currency and if people want you to invest your currency in them, if they want your attention let them earn it. Respect is earned not governed so don’t shower it on people let them earn it.
Honestly, blocking is beautiful you don’t have to be mean, don’t have to shout just stop answering their calls. We are humans and we have a great talent for making excuses but our timing is wrong. Excuses are an excellent technique to deal with toxic minds but unfortunately, we use them to kill time. Tell them I have work, visiting parents this weekend, I am in a rush, whatever. Stop hanging out with people who drain your energy only spend time with people who helps you to grow and if no one is like that in your life use internet to connect with creative minds instead of browsing it mindlessly only to make yourself more miserable.
Respect your energy, time and creativity and it will respect you back.
Learn to say no.
Answer those questions and make a decision to never care about what would they say they will say anyway.
Pull back your focus and energy and turn it towards yourself.
Think and work on what you like not what you don’t like.